116. It’s like washing dishes, but imagine if the dishes were your kids, so you really love the dishes. Father Son Inspirational Quotes. He can’t remember my name, but last week he told me exactly how much money I owe him. Watching “Chicken Run,” my dad suddenly exclaimed “Yeah, right. Men should always change diapers.
", "If it's difficult to get to, then wilderness will still be there. Me and my dad used to play tag. And you tell people, he’s got four teeth like they care.
– Spike Milligan. I just sit there and makeup songs and sing to [my son] in gibberish, I’m very good at gibberish now.
138. He replied, “I know.” Then smiled and said, “It’s one of the perks”. – James Breakwell, 91. If you’re feeling down, these funny dad quotes we compiled will definitely make you chuckle nonstop and lift up your mood as dads joke about being a dad, tease, embarrass, and crack up their children with their hysterical antics, and children cracking up with their dads’ advice and insults.
I think he was stealing my milk. Taye Diggs “How come my 3-year-old son knows every species and genus of dinosaur, and I can’t even remember my home phone number?”.
“So how do you feel?” I asked him, just as Meghan was about to walk down the aisle.
When I checked the gallery I saw a bunch of pictures of his forehead because he didn’t know the camera was on a selfie mode the whole time. On our 6 a.m. walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning.
Vitamin Bud Light.”.
– Ray Romano, 48. He said, “Oh sure you’re street smart. A teen shouted at his Dad: It’s not your job to embarrass me. My father refused to spend money on me as a kid. At the zoo, with my dad, he turns to us and says, “Girls, I just stepped on a frog” we rushed over and realized he had farted. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
My dad called and said he was buying something to bring us closer together, it was 2 burial plots next to each other. My dad looks around and says, “This guy is really good.” – Fred Wolf, 74. It's a philosophy I've applied to my own travels and exploration, that nowhere is too far, if "everywhere is within walking distance.". Sesame Street smart.”. We go to this trophy shop because my basketball team won second place. Dads can use something inspirational, too. Whenever I fail as a father or husband, a toy and a diamond always work. It’s actually a Jiminy Cricket quote, but serves as an example of who my dad is and it has helped shape my moral compass, too. 111. 132. My wife just let me know I’m about to become a father for the first time.
55. "You're not going to catch a fish unless your line is in the water. Why do you ask?” He said, “I wanted to make sure the way you turned out is your fault.” – Stu Trivax, 62. Lucky guess. Most of the time I feel entirely unqualified to be a parent. Just thought my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream. I’ll eat whatever I want. I was 36 before I figured out most of my dad’s advice to me was just quotes from Burt Reynolds movies. ", "Whatever you are, be a good one and have fun doing it.
And when I'd spend my long, North American summer vacations in Japan visiting the extended family, I'd often join our venerable patriarch each day on his marches—glorified pub crawls, really—through parts of the city that, even then, I could not begin to recount how we'd gotten there. 135. – Red Buttons, 24. One day my boys will wise up and realize they get to stay up playing video games only as long as I’m winning. I think I got some great pics. Dad, thanks for giving me just enough emotional baggage to be in a creative field but not enough to be a prostitute. I called my dad to see if he had a stud finder and he casually replied, “Mom’s at work.”. – Cathy Ladman. I really can't put my finger on a phrase of his, other than "Five-minute showers maximum!" A dad is someone who wants to keep you from making mistakes but instead lets you find your own way, even though his heart breaks in silence when you get hurt. – Chris Martin, 16. – Chris Rock. 98. Dad taught me everything I know. – AristotlesNZ, 80. He said, “You learned how to catch pretty quick.”. 97. A dad is someone who holds you when you cry, scolds you when you break the rules, shines with pride when you succeed, and has faith in you even when you fail.
I love my dad because even though he has Alzheimer’s, he remembers the important things. When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, ‘Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?’ He answered, ‘If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.’ – Jerry Lewis, 51.
FatherMag is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. I’ve been to war. 1. My dad really knows how to calm my egotistical self down. Check out the list below and enjoy some quirky quotes, bad advice, and dads who think they're actually funny! And I’ll create whoever I want.” – Jerry Seinfeld. Daddy was more of a bitch than we initially thought. I heard dad ranting the other day saying, “You know what I need? I want my son to wear a helmet 24 hours a day. Dad: You have to go to the store? Dad, thanks for putting up with my crap. It’s definitely helped me in a life full of difficult decisions and stressful situations. – Brian Kiley, 10. Yep, that’s all I got. Hands me his phone. After an incredible 3-hour whale watching tour. Having children is like living in a frat house — nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up. 134. I also have a gun, a shovel, and an alibi.
– Rodney Dangerfield, 12.
It’s so disgusting how big your heads are.’ I say it before anybody else does.
You gotta love dads. I now know what it was that made me feel uncomfortable: the nudity. After an incredible 3-hour whale watching tour. My dad, 86 years old and he’s still working. My dad told me back then, “When you start a new job, don’t talk a lot. When I’m done, the light goes off automatically.” I said, “Dad, you’re peeing in the fridge, and it’s got to stop.” – Jonathan Katz, 77. “It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping.” – John Sinor.
Whenever I would tell my dad that I was going to the bathroom he would reply, “Mention my name and you’ll get a good seat”. I’m not surprised.
This way they won’t know how dumb you are.” I said, “Thanks, dad.” Guess he was right. Dad, you’ve always been the coolest. – Shahrukh Khan, 18. With age comes new skills. It was very awkward. When you’re young, you think your dad is Superman. I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said, “Jonathan, when I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I don’t have to turn on the light; the light goes on automatically.
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